A Love Letter to my Baby

This is a love letter to my baby Captain Shadow Ginger Dawn Midnight, also known as Shadow, Shadow-Fluff, Shadow-Bear, Baby-Bear or Baby. He was born sometime in the month of July in the year 1990, and came to live with me four months later when I was in the third grade. He was my very first baby and my first love.

My aunt and uncle found him on the mean streets of Tacoma, but he didn’t get along with their baby Copy, so they gave him to me. The night they brought him over he was so scared he ran across the floor and scratched my toe. But that night I switched bunk-beds with my little brother Oliver so that I could sleep on the bottom next to where Shadow was prowling around, exploring his new home. I awoke in the morning to find my baby curled up asleep on my head.

In the early years he was wild and enjoyed the fine art of hunting bare feet. Many a valiant toe fell under his cunning paws. Much to his embarrassment I dressed him in doll clothes a time or two. He was always the strong, silent type. The ultimate alpha-male. He didn’t particularly treasure close contact, but he enjoyed human company, especially mine. The feeling was mutual. He liked to listen to me play the piano, and would pad in and hop on the nearest footstool to instruct me in scales. He was fearless. When the neighbor’s dog dared trespass in our yard, Shadow fended him off with the courage of a lion.

Two months after Ryan and I got married my mom sent Shadow to live with us in Philadelphia. My instincts that Ryan would be a good daddy were immediately confirmed. He fell in love from the moment Shadow ran out of the cat carrier and hid under the dresser. After a few days of dresser-living, we pulled him out and stacked textbooks under every piece of furniture that he could possibly fit under. He quickly grew accustomed to his new life as an indoor baby, enjoying retirement with doting parents. He followed us from room to room, jingling for the first year with the little bell he wore around his neck before we took pity on him and removed it. The little girl who I babysat and I made him an elaborate house out of a cardboard box, which we painted in blues and pinks and decorated with glitter and stickers. He loved it.

He is an integral part of our little family. He enjoys sitting with Ryan while he blogs, jumping up on the bed for family cuddles, and running to greet us at the door when we come home. In greeting he opens his little mouth in a almost silent “ah-ah.” It’s the cutest thing ever. In the past two years since I took up Romance novels he has been my biggest companion and fan, reading with me and giving me ideas for my book. We keep each other company while Daddy is away on business trips.

When Ryan and I go on vacation we talk about him all the time. We call home and leave messages for him on the answering machine. We get excited about going home so that we can see the baby again. On Sunday, returning from Ireland, we ran down the hallway to see him, love giving us wings.

My baby lost movement in his front left paw Sunday night and, though thankfully he is not in pain, he is no longer able to rise on his own. Your thoughts and prayers for his health and wellness are very appreciated.

ShadowBear, thank you so much for being my baby. You’ve enriched the last 17 years of my life beyond measure. I love you baby. I will always love you.

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